All I ever truly wanted growing up was love and peace. Mainly peace. What child wishes to suffer? What sane person wishes to struggle till the day they die. Peace is subjective. I understand that. I also believe that in order to find peace we must not only look in ourselves but we must also uncover all that’s been hidden.

There has been so much that ponders me but there is one thing that I can’t help then to feel suffocated in. Is my religion. Don’t get me wrong. I am Christian and I believe in God yes. I don’t feel Christian enough. I feel that in order for me to truly find the peace I’ve been searching for all these years is that I must reach out and trust God. As almost every Christian would tell me to stay faithful. But if I have to be completely honest it feels difficult to find peace. Even with God. I feel disturbed and unheard.

No one talks about what to do when you feel unsure. I know that no matter how hard it gets if I wish to truly find peace I must be honest with myself and others. I chose peace because I wish to be nothing like those who hurt me. I chose to move on from the girl I once was. What makes me happy is that I know there will be a day where peace is all I know and see. Peace will greet me through its doors and welcome me to stay. I know peace is on its way.