The soft scrape of a page being turned in my newest book is what brings me happiness.
Too often are we, as humans in the 21st century, focused on attaining a goal or possession that we have glorified in our minds. Admittedly, I used to (and probably still am, to some degree) like this, but I realized during my junior year of high school that this was an insatiable pursuit.
During my junior year of high school, I was obsessed with keeping my grades up. I would stay up until 3 am studying for a math test that I had the next day or spend hours perfecting a paper for a class in which I already had a 97%. I would spend 20 minutes on a drawing and rush to finish it if I couldn’t get it done because I would start to grow tired of it. I would start a new video game in an attempt to get a “perfect playthrough” and then drop it as soon as I did. In doing these things, I realized that I wasn’t pursuing a genuine feeling of enjoyment out of them- rather, I was chasing the immediate gratification I would feel from their completion.
As I reached the end of my junior year, I realized that I was happy, in part from these things, but for the most part, I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what made life so great. Was it that I had gotten an A in my math class? That I had gotten that internship or won that award? Something told me no. It was the day-to-day victories that should have been insignificant, most of which I had already forgotten which made life so great. It was the inside jokes my friends and I would cry from laughing at during lunch. It was the random FaceTime I would get from a friend I hadn’t seen in forever or an old photo that would hit me with a wave of nostalgia.
It was going to the bookstore with my Omi to check out a new book, hearing stories from her during the whole car ride there. As we entered the store I soaked in the soothing scent of books and felt perfectly content. I weaved through the aisles trying to find the book I wanted, and clutching it like a prize, would bring it up to the checkout counter. I opened it as soon as I got home, eager to see what adventures I had missed out on during the time between this installment and the last. And so I turn the next page and breathe a sigh of contentment knowing that this is what brings me happiness.







