I used to be silly. I used to never have to worry much! I had what I needed. A Lot of the
time I didn’t even realize when things were wrong. I just didn’t care. I felt as light as a
feather. A young youthful child who simply didn’t have time for anyone else’s nonsense
or foolishness. I would talk to others not filled with much anxiety. My head wasn’t spinning. My brain wasn’t on the verge of exploding into a million pieces all at once. I was a kid.
Now I have more of a purpose. I have dreams and worries. I have people in my face telling me who I should or shouldn’t be. Sometimes it even feels like my destiny’s already chosen before I get the chance to speak.
I want to make my own decisions. Not letting others choose my path for
me. I want to feel happy and fulfilled. The feeling of winning the lottery. Or even just pure joy.
Having your work pay off. After the long nights of studying and sleeping. I want to be
successful. I’d do anything to make my parents proud of me. The feeling of being smart.
Being sure of yourself. Is something I’ll always strive for. Despite all the dreams and goals, I
hold myself up to. I don’t want to waste my life away behind a desk. I love learning new things.
But I want more in life. I want to be more than a person who goes to school just to go home and study. There’s so much more to my life than school. I don’t hate school. I hate killing time. Time is precious it’s something you can never get back no matter how much you beg or cry. It can run away from the tips of your fingers. It’s limited. And you never know when the clock will end. As much as I love making my parents proud. I have life. I have so much more to me.
I don’t wish to be stuck in a never-ending cycle of work, sleep, and eat repeatedly. I want to
live a life that’s meaningful. I want a real reason to be here. Even when things get rough. I want
a life that’s worth remembering. One that’s worth all the pain, stress, and troubles that come
along with living. I don’t want to be trapped in this box. One that most people see, to live the
rest of the entirety. I want to feel and be free. Not being held somewhere against my will. I don’t
want to be in an unhappy home. I wish to travel the seas! To discover missing parts and pieces of the world. I want to make a difference. I want to help others! I want to be someone, not just another body behind a desk. Not just another waste of space. Not just another hopeless girl. Not just some failure who wished but never did. I want to be. I will be someone who tried. Who does her best when it comes to everything and anything! No matter how impossible it may seem I can do it!
I want to be the sea against the storm. Staying in place no matter who or whatever comes in my way. Life has more of a purpose than sitting around waiting for one. Waiting for a miracle to fly out of the sky. Laying flat into your hands. When I leave earth I would like to know I left making a difference. I wish for better. Better for those who deserve it but never received it. Better for those who are struggling to fight for what they deserve. I am going to live a fulfilled life. One with not only purpose. But with meaning. I wish to be surrounded by those who matter to me. I will be the difference. I will do what I’ve always wanted to. I’ll stop caring what others think. I will live a carefree life. Filled with meaning. My special purpose. This time I won’t hide away like the sun in the rain. Yet I will soar above the clouds like a spaceship with no landing. Heading wherever the path takes me.