Tag Archives: mental health

Why Ending a Friendship Should Not Be Villainized

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Ending a friendship with someone is often treated like a horrible thing to do, something cruel and morally wrong. But these ideas are ignorant to the truth: some friendships simply do not last forever. Leaving a friendship in the past is not an action that automatically makes one dramatic, selfish, or in the wrong.

Everyone grows and changes as a person; values shift, priorities change, interests fade away… All of that is a normal, inevitable thing. Unfortunately, these changes can also lead to friendships becoming weaker. The person you once promised to be friends with forever may suddenly feel like a stranger. Maybe there was a change in personalities, or you realized that you two do not really agree with each other. In situations like these, it is better to just let the friendship go, rather than to hold onto it and hope it rebuilds itself. Staying in a friendship out of guilt or fear does not make you loyal, it just makes you stuck.

We villainize individuals that leave relationships because we fear endings. Humans fear the unknown and are uncomfortable with the idea of losing something that was once a comfort. Endings also indicate a loss of control, and control is something that we are naturally drawn to. Another thing is that ends force us to mature and move on, which is something that is difficult for many. Most people find themselves stuck in friendships, simply because they are not willing to step out of comfort zones. But time keeps on moving, and we are the only ones that can decide who we spend our lives with.

Of course, ending a relationship should not be careless and harsh. The most important thing is that you are honest, take accountability, and are kind about it overall.

Ending a friendship does not erase the previous memories. It does not mean that the relationship was fake. It just means that you are letting go of a fading connection, and that should not make you a villain.

Confidence is Key

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Confidence is a powerful force that influences your thoughts, actions, and even your success overall. When you believe in yourself, you’re more likely to overcome challenges and pursue opportunities that can lead to extremely beneficial rewards. Confidence is essential for the stages of adolescence and also the world beyond.

The key ingredient to having confidence in yourself means recognizing your worth and acknowledging your skills/abilities. It’s about understanding the characteristics or skills that make you unique and who you are. Lucille Ball, an American comedian and actress, once said “Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.” This quote has great meaning because it emphasizes the importance of being your own source of happiness, as this allows you to not only foster confidence but also find fulfillment in your life without depending on others.  

You should always remember that everyone, including the most successful people, has come face-to-face with self-doubt. With this in mind, know that self-doubt will at some point creep in, but it’s crucial to challenge those negative thoughts. When you encounter a negative inner-voice, counter it with a positive affirmation about yourself. Try to think about a couple of qualities that you possess that make you feel proud of who you are. It can be as simple as “I’m resilient and responsible, I will succeed.” 

Below are 3 Simple Steps to Boost Confidence

1. Set Realistic and Achievable Goals: Break down long-term goals into smaller steps. Make sure to celebrate each achievement, even if it’s small.

2. Practice Self-Care: Maintain your physical and mental well-being. Eat healthy, exercise, and also take time to rest.  

3. Visualization: Picture yourself achieving success, whether that’s getting an A on a test or performing well in a sport. Visualization will decrease your anxiety and prepare you for accomplishment!

Confidence is a journey, not a destination. It will have it’s ups and downs, but as long as you embrace every success and maintain a positive outlook on yourself, you will be able to handle just about anything.

One of My best Stress Relievers

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School can seem extremely overwhelming. Some days, I get extremely lucky, and I have little to no homework, but other days, I can have tons of upcoming tests, or assignments/projects due soon. Between school work, tests, and activities, it is extremely easy to feel stressed or burned out. When this happens, I think that doing some form of exercise really helps reset someone’s mind. For me personally, baseball and going to the gym helps my mental health a lot.

As a student, there seems like there is always pressure to keep up. Grades matter, time feels limited, and it can feel like I can never catch a break. Stress builds up faster than people realize. As a student in high school, it feels like there is so much pressure on every decision I make and how it might impact my future and my career.

Baseball helps me slow down and focus. When I am on the field or in the batter’s box, I’m not thinking about assignments or deadlines. I’m only focused on the next pitch, the next play, and being present in the moment. As a teen, playing sports clears your head and teaches you discipline and patience. Although, at times, there may be extremely frustrating moments while playing sports, it pushes one to get better and improve as a player and as a person.

Going to the gym helps in a different way. Lifting weights allows me to relieve stress physically. After a workout, I feel calmer, more confident, and more prepared to handle challenges at school. I recommend that everybody should try to consistently get in the gym. If you workout 3-5 times a week, you can notice some results pretty fast both physically and mentally. Going to the gym improves focus after studying and boosts one’s confidence.

Everyone handles stress differently. For me, baseball and the gym are perfect ways to protect my mental health while staying active. Finding something that helps you reset, whether it being sports, music, or journaling, can make a huge difference in someone’s life.

Disconnect And Recconect

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In 1990, around 96% of Americans had no cell phone, and exactly 30 years later, the number completely flipped. In 2020, it was reported that 98% of Americans had a cell phone or smartphone. With the rapid rise of technology use over the past 30 years, the way people live has changed completely. This was shown in work life, home life, and most of all, social life. Technology allowed people to connect with others from all over the world, whether it be the other side of the world or even the next-door neighbor.

While technology gave more opportunities to connect with others, for some, it completely isolated them. Studies show that in 2023, a report titled “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” discovered that half of the U.S. adults experienced measurable levels of loneliness, and technology had a major impact on that. The focus on technology can induce feelings of loneliness due to the natural human need for social interaction and technology’s impact on these social interactions. Poor social connections can increase risks for major health problems, such as heart disease and stroke.

In order to prevent the decrease of social interaction and isolation, it’s important to strengthen social interactions. This can be done by going to parks, libraries, or other places that encourage social interaction with others. Hanging out with friends free from technology can also improve social interaction. There are many fun activities out there that don’t require technology in order to be fun. Some ideas can range from amusement parks to a little walk in the park, or even going swimming. Numerous community groups promote social interaction through volunteer activities, sports, or mentorship programs. Thus, since technology can hinder the social skills of many people, it’s important to interact with others and the environment without technology to improve social skills.

Change is Your Friend

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Whether you like it or not, change is a regular part of life. As a teenager, you’re very likely to experience a variety of changes – hobbies, friendships, new schools, family life, and even your identity. It’s very normal to feel apprehensive or even scared to face change, but instead of fearing it, view it as an opportunity for a new adventure.

Change can easily feel overwhelming, especially if it’s abrupt and without warning. However, change always leads to one essential truth – change leads to growth. This is because change forces you to step outside of your comfort zone, allowing you to evolve into a stronger and more resilient version of yourself.

Tips for Navigating Change

  1. Stay Positive: Focus your mind on the positive aspects of your life and how the change will potentially bring positive outcomes. It’s a known fact that your outlook (positive or negative) can significantly impact your experience with transitions.
  2. Find a Support System: Whether it’s friends or family, surround yourself with people that you love and trust. Sharing your feelings with others can make a transition less stress-inducing. 
  3. Accept That It’s Okay to Feel Lost: If you feel out of place or have many emotions, that’s totally normal. The best thing to do is accept that these feelings are temporary; it will bring peace to your mind.

In all, embracing change is not only an essential mark of growth but an important tool for shaping your identity, each change that you go through presents a unique opportunity to learn and adapt. As you transition into adulthood, keep in mind the main idea that change isn’t something to fear– it is an essential part of life that at first may lead you through struggle, but you will ultimately come out stronger on the other side.

Slow Down

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When was the last time you stopped doing what you were doing to take a deep breath? Many people can be as busy as a bee, with almost no time to live, as the days seem to fly by quickly. Whether you are a teen tackling the challenges of high school and the future ahead of you, a young adult trying to figure out life as you enter adulthood, or an adult tired of the same constant cycle of sleep, eat, and repeat, many people can agree that life can be so busy sometimes that we forget to stop and slow down. It is often said, “Stop and Smell the Roses,” meaning slow down, enjoy life, and savor the world around you, but I feel like people forget to do this all the time nowadays. People are too focused on getting that promotion, getting those grades, doing well in life, and dreading the future, that they don’t focus on the now. As a high school student nearing the end of my high school life, I also find myself focusing solely on the future too much. The school work has gotten busier tenfold, and I haven’t been able to balance between my school life, my friends, my hobbies, and taking care of myself, so it’s gotten really stressful. I’ve been so focused on good grades, new friends, finding a job, and becoming the best version of myself, and trying to do this and that, that I forget how to slow down sometimes. The song “Slow Down” by Laufey embodies this message, and I recommend listening to it if you ever feel like life is too stressful as a reminder to stop and slow down. The song highlights the narrator’s young adult life and how she’s grown now and is living life independently, and everything happened in the blink of an eye. I found that stopping to breathe in the middle of studying, doing homework, or doing chores, even for a short moment, can help ease the stress. Yes, getting those grades is important. Yes, getting that promotion is important. Yes, doing well in life is important, but your health is also important. It’s okay to put everything aside for a little bit and take a nap, do something you like, hang out with your loved ones, or even do nothing. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so take a moment to stop and take a deep breath.

Why Journaling Matters

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You see journals everywhere. People post it all over social media, and your therapist might even recommend it! Even the most historically significant individuals, such as Leonardo da Vinci, Frida Kahlo, Marie Curie, and Albert Einstein, kept journals. The reason behind this isn’t just because it’s trendy – it’s because journaling is a powerful tool used for improving well-being, self-growth, and creativity. 

  1. Journaling Helps Clear Your Head

Imagine after a long day, you’re feeling all sorts of emotions: anger, sadness, anxiety,  and you have no one to talk to or just don’t have the energy to talk to anyone. Journaling can help with that. Especially at this time in the world right now, things can get very chaotic and overwhelming, and this can take a toll on your health. Life is already full of surprises, and it’s extremely easy to feel all sorts of emotions. Journaling helps you navigate those emotions. When you just want to express your feelings or vent, you can do that in a journal. Bottling your emotions can be harmful  – think of a balloon. A balloon can’t expand forever, and eventually it can’t take too much and it’ll burst. That’s the same case for us. We can’t hold onto things forever. We can’t just store all our emotions in our heads because it’ll end up building up, and eventually, we’ll explode. Journaling helps release stress and anxiety, and it’s fantastic for improving mental health. 

  1. Journals Help You Express Yourself

When you’re journaling, you’re taking your thoughts and feelings and writing them down in your journal.  You’re not doing it to impress anyone or anything, so it shows your true self and a real you. Your journal is your canvas, and you can write anything in your journal. You don’t always have to write about your day if you don’t want to. You can just write a letter to yourself or make a page just about you. A journal is about expression. It can even help you discover yourself. Every time you journal, it encourages you to reflect on your thoughts, which can help you discover things about yourself that you didn’t think about previously. For example, let’s say you journal after you got into an argument with someone dear to you. Journaling encourages reflection, so maybe as you’re journaling, you start to realize, “Was I too harsh?” or “Maybe I overreacted.” This allows you to think differently and helps you navigate your problems because it gives you a new perspective. You can think about how to handle things differently. When you’re journaling, you’re being vulnerable, and this pushes you to learn about parts of yourself that you might not have noticed before. 

  1. Journals Are Like Time Capsules

If you start journaling now and get into this consistent habit of journaling, you’ll have so many journal entries to look back on when you’re older. You can read back on your old journal entries and reflect on how far you’ve come and grown as a person. Your journey might be sad or happy, but it shows how things have changed or stayed the same throughout your life. Maybe you’ll become a completely different person, and your journal is a reflection of that. Your journal is living proof of your growth as you navigate through your life’s triumphs and challenges. 

So, how do you start? Well, it’s simple, really. All you need is somewhere to write on. You can use your notes app on your phone, an app for journaling, a notebook, or pieces of paper, and you can even use Google Docs. Anywhere you want, as long as you can write on it. Next, try to be consistent. Personally, I am not consistent with journaling because I find it difficult to stay consistent. However, if you want to try to stay consistent, it is suggested that you set a schedule for journaling. It can be when you wake up every day or before you sleep, and it doesn’t matter if it’s 5 minutes or 30 minutes, there’s no limit. It’s okay if you’re not consistent with journaling. Just write whenever and whatever to your heart’s content.

Sports and Mental Health: A Double Edged Sword 

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The relationship between sports and mental health can not be simplified down to any single factor. The toxic, destructive atmosphere of a sports team is often masked by the ‘friendly competition’ persona. 

Often the problem lies in the coaches immaturity and deep desire to win above all else. Grown adults are willing to trash a child’s mental health in the name of the game. While sports can create a strong sense of community among athletes, this mutual support is often dismantled by the relentless expectations set by coaches.

“There’s nothing to lose in practice” is a phrase no athlete is a stranger to, but do not fall into its trap. One bad practice can easily prompt excessive punishments or a loss in playing time. Coaches have no trouble dismissing all an athlete’s hard work and accumulation of excellent performances to validate their dramatic penalization for one off day. Players are expected to exhibit peak athleticism and skill on a daily basis. Coaches fail to recognize the psychological and emotional challenges faced by teenagers in today’s high-pressure society. The media pushes unrealistic standards, convincing young individuals that success is contingent upon being physically attractive, thin yet not excessively so, socially popular, and academically accomplished. Maintaining this lifestyle, while being committed to a sports team is virtually impossible, for those planning to maintain a healthy mental state. 

This is not to imply that sports are some nefarious force designed to cause harm to teenagers. Any form of physical activity can prompt the release of endorphins, diminishing feelings of anxiety and immense sadness. High schoolers facing intense stress can take advantage of sports, as a temporary relief from the stressors that plague their mind. The blissful focus required to engage in sports provides a mental break and increased mindfulness. Amidst the intensity of athletic endeavors, athletes rarely have their minds clouded by thoughts of an impending math test. 

Though an excessive focus on competition may give rise to anxiety and diminish self-esteem, it can also equip athletes with the resilience needed to navigate the challenges of life. There is no escaping setbacks, failures, and high-pressure situations, so being exposed to them early in a controlled environment can serve individuals in the long run. This is not a justification of cruel coaches, but rather a recognition of the possibility to learn coping mechanisms when faced with healthy competition. Positive stress exists and sports can serve as a form of positive stress. Positive stress exists and can arise through sports, acting as a spark for personal growth and the cultivation of inner strength. 

Sports, just like anything, contain both positive and negative aspects. Children should not shy away from sports entirely, in fear of harming their mental health. Instead, they should remain mindful of the amount of competition and pressure they are consuming. Those looking into joining sports as a form of self care, approaching it as a leisurely pursuit may offer the most beneficial balance. Even those seeking a professional career in athletics should not dismiss their mental health, as neglecting it can diminish their natural passion and drive. 

Book Review: All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

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I first heard about this book from one of my close friends. We usually are into the same type of books, so I knew I had to read this. I went to the bookstore a few weeks later and purchased it. It wasn’t until a few months later that I actually began reading it.

I instantly fell in love with the book at the first page. When Finch’s character was introduced, I immediately connected with his psyche. The style of the writing is just one that I find myself relating to.

With every page turn, I became more and more invested in the story. The subtle romance between Finch and Violet that sparked in the beginning was so captivating. Usually books targeted towards young adult audiences don’t seem relatable to me, but this one was. When I am really invested in a book, I will finish it in less than a week. I finished reading this one in two days.

I feel as though any teenager/young adult who reads this book will relate to at least one part. This book was very inspiring to me as well. It made me feel less alone.

This book is honestly what gave me courage to fully open up to my school counselor. It helped me realize that it is okay not to be okay.

All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven is available to check out from the Mission Viejo Library. It is also available to download for free from Libby.

Another Way

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I know Mental Health awareness is everywhere. But there are still people out there struggling. Fighting for their life. It hurts to know many people feel there isn’t any way out. Well I am here to tell you there is. And to never give up on yourself. I know its hard to keep going, but it will be worth it! In the end you’ll be thankful you stayed. I promise. Life eventually turns around. It will take time. I just wanted to remind you that there’s always another way.

I wrote this prose for those who feel there’s no way out. Its called: “Still Here”.

Still Here

        For those who may feel like life is meaningless. Or simply believe there is no point of living. I have a short story to share with you. To help remind myself and others on why we should keep going; I’m still here. I love many things. School is one of them. There I get a chance to be creative and free. Not many restrictions. I have lots of hope and dreams as I enter the building of what feels like a second home. Here I am away from the troubles and stress. Or some of it. But there was a time when life wasn’t getting anywhere. I felt nothing but hopeless. The world around and its people were drained of color. The sun was hidden away for decades. It was like someone powered out the lights and decided to not turn them back on. For the longest time. I was locked in this room. There was a window. Where the door should’ve been. I was alone. Barely standing on whatever I had left of me. I was chopped up and scattered into bits and pieces. I screamed relentlessly. Crying for help. Any help. Your help. His help. Nothing left my mouth. I could feel the tears rushing over me like a ton of waves crashing against the shore. I was underwater gasping for air. Screaming. Pleading for someone to notice. And they didn’t. Suddenly everything went black. No. The room shrank. So did its window. The walls continue to cave in. Please stop. All I need is for someone to help me. I don’t understand how I’ve gotten to this point. But I feel lost and unworthy. I can’t do this anymore. Nothing. The walls started to cave in once more. I kicked and screamed. The window wouldn’t open. It just didn’t crack. Go. Tell someone we need help. We must get out now before it’s too late. The window began to shrink. What’s wrong with you? You must want to die. Nothing but silence filled the empty room. What’s the point of staying? They didn’t want you in the first place. They can’t help you now. They can’t hear you. They can’t see you. The window now as small as a dot- opens. Just a crack. I swore I could hear the slightest whisper. I ran. Ran faster, Like that would help. I ran but I didn’t move. We’re still here. In the same place where we once began. Now screaming or so I thought. I begged for help. I could see myself. I could see people off in the void. Hey! I need help. Now would be great. I’m sorry to bother you but I can’t do this for much longer. They looked at me. Simply stared. Straight through me as if I wasn’t even there. Taking one look at me then moving on with the rest of their day. Not even a hi or hello. No acknowledgement that I was ever there. At that very moment the window slammed shut. No one there. But me. The window then shrank to nothing but to the point of disappearance. You were supposed to be there for me. I yelled repeatedly. Why? Why am I still here? My body sinking into a muddy puddle. The room with its walls smashing me into one another. I knew it. I told myself this was it. I had accepted the fact that if they didn’t care about me then why should I. I let myself spiral into whatever I’d become. Just as my head sank under. A door appeared. The faintest brown I’ve seen in years. In the corner of the four walls the door was creaked open. Everything around me stopped. I stopped sinking. I was able to get up. There was no snake wrapped around my neck. The sun was no longer hidden.