Tag Archives: autobiography

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb (Book Review)

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If you’re looking for a new book, consider Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb.

To be completely honest, I’ve never been drawn to motivational/self-help books, so this was a surprisingly great read. I understand why people appreciate them, but personally, I always thought that they were a bit dull for my taste. I figured that if I was going to read something, I would rather it be a story about some faraway land or a critique of a post-apocalyptic society that vaguely resembled ours. To me, reading is more of an escape from life’s worries than a method of examining them. In fact, I had purposefully avoided the psychology sections of bookstores and libraries because I was entirely sure that nothing there would interest me— which is why it made no sense for me to pick up Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb.

I first found this book through a video I saw online that praised it as ‘one of the top ten books of the year.’ I had been looking for reading suggestions and felt that my recent fantasy selections were repetitive. What drew me into this book was the premise of it: a therapist experiences an event that changes the trajectory of her life so she starts attending therapy herself. This book, unlike other self-help books, came across as extremely genuine to me. Gottlieb is transparent with her audience about the way she feels (including her honest opinions of her patients) which makes her seem more like a friend telling you about her life than some omniscient therapy guru. She doesn’t claim to have all of the answers, nor does she put on a brave face for her audience, and she openly admits that she is wracked with anxiety and regret over the fact that she has lived almost half of her life by now yet barely gotten to experience the joys of motherhood. From Gottlieb’s perspective, we get to see how four of her patients, each with extremely complex and beautiful lives, deal with their struggles.

This unique writing strategy of interweaving stories from her own life with her patients’ keeps the reader on the edge of their seat. Just as a massive detail in one patient’s life is revealed, we are introduced to a memory from Gottlieb’s life that makes us see her in a new manner. These parallels between the patients and herself show how even authority figures who may seem to have life “figured out” still struggle themselves. For example, she had a plethora of career changes: first working on television sets, then finding her interest in medicine and studying at Stanford Medical School, then finally becoming a therapist. Having so many different perspectives helps her pull in knowledge to understand and provide care for her patients, care which she herself needs.

Gottlieb seeks therapy following an abrupt end to her relationship with her partner (whom she only refers to as ‘boyfriend.’) The casual manner in which he breaks up with her is shocking, but what she struggles with the most is his reason for leaving: despite being a father figure to Gottlieb’s son for years, he decided that he couldn’t handle the burden of children. Over the course of many sessions, she progresses through the five stages of grief and reflects on her past relationship.

Denial: The end of their relationship doesn’t feel real to her. She is convinced that he will call her at any moment with the realization that everything was a mistake and ask for her back.

Anger: Gottlieb berates ‘boyfriend’ in her therapy sessions, attacking him for being inconsiderate and his treatment of her. This stage seems to last the longest, and she occasionally relapses into anger.

Bargaining: Sometime after the breakup, she calls him and demands a better explanation for his actions (and takes notes to share with her therapist). However, bargaining only makes her angrier because no explanation will justify his actions.

Depression: Gottlieb experiences depression over her lost relationship, which her therapist suggests is part of a larger, more hidden feeling. Through their sessions, she discovers that her depression stems from a larger insecurity about not having enough time left in life for her to become a mother and pursue a family. ‘Boyfriend’ was part of this family, which is why the breakup triggered this reaction in her.

Acceptance: Finally, after much soul-searching, Gottlieb concluded that there was no reason to obsess about being behind in life when she could instead put her efforts into more productive things, such as being a mother, therapist, and writer.

After her final therapy session, she finally found peace in knowing that her fear of “running out of time” was all in her head. Gottlieb ends the novel by telling the reader to focus more on the present and less on the future and further elaborates that life continues to go on no matter what we do. This advice had a great impact on me because I could tell from her life experiences and progression through grief that she knows what these feelings are like. Her vulnerability with the reader transformed my perspective on mindfulness books, and I am excited to explore this genre further!

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb is available for checkout from the Mission Viejo Library. It can also be downloaded from Libby. 

Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins

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Many people make excuses on a daily basis and procrastinate on their goals. They limit themselves and settle for less. David Goggins is not one of these people. 

He has had every excuse in the world to be a failure. He has suffered from a traumatic childhood, sickle cell, learning disabilities, a congenital heart defect, and many more. Despite this, he has become a top endurance athlete and a successful public speaker. In addition, he is the only person to have completed training as a Navy SEAL, Army Ranger, and Air Force Tactical Controller.

This autobiography not only tells his story but provides helpful tips to discipline yourself and begin your own self-improvement journey.

If you have goals, this book is for you. Whether you want to get fit, do better in school, learn an instrument, or land a promotion, you always need hard work and discipline. After every chapter, Goggins gives tips to help keep yourself accountable and “callous your mind”. Some of these include:

  • Journal your “excuses” and view them as things to overcome
  • Use an Accountability Mirror to list goals & insecurities
  • Do things that make you feel uncomfortable
  • Flip the script by working harder and becoming excellent
  • Visualize and meditate
  • Compartmentalize your day creating an optimal schedule

This list may seem intimidating at first. You may think that these methods only work for the best. It may surprise you, but David Goggins was once an overweight failure with a dead-end job. He was discharged from the military for medical reasons, but in reality, he had quit. But no matter how many times he failed, he always came back and pushed through.

The fact that Goggins shows his many highs and lows makes the book much more relatable. He does not always succeed. Every time he makes it over a hill, it seems like a steeper one presents itself. But, even when he achieved greatness, he always strived for more. If he is unable to serve in the army further, why not try becoming a speaker and army recruiter? Why not become an endurance athlete and break the pull-up record? Why stop?

Another one of my favorite ideas presented is the 40% Rule. David Goggins believes that when you feel like you are finished, you are only doing 40% of what you are capable of. Whether it is running farther than usual, working later hours, or going for one more rep, pushing yourself will have results. Breaking these limits is crucial to achieving success.

His personal experience with failure and perseverance make this book that much more effective. Unlike many self-help books that may provide temporary motivation, this autobiography may help you achieve permanent discipline. This book has changed millions of lives, including mine. If you want to achieve a goal, this book will help you.

Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins is available to download for free from Libby.

Book Review: Blue Nights by Joan Didion

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Blue Nights by Joan Didion explores the death of the author’s adopted daughter, Quintana Roo, by discussing her experience with parenthood and growing old.

Didion recounts many moments in her life in her memoir, filling each chapter with bittersweet memories of her daughter. Didion also shares many personal moments in her life, ranging from her early childhood until this memoir’s publishing. In recalling both her daughter’s life and her own, Didion questions whether she made the right decisions in motherhood while simultaneously grieving the loss of her husband. 

What makes Didion’s novels different from other memoirs is the way she puts her memories into words. The way she recalls remnants of her life and shares her every thought is unique from other writers; her work is so personal, it’s as if we are both watching her grieve her loved ones while also feeling sympathy for her. The writing in Blue Nights constantly reminds us that healing does not happen overnight. Despite the emotional premise of this memoir, Didion’s writing style remains consistent with her other works: beautiful and detailed. She brings so much emotion to her writing and executes each scene poignantly without holding her feelings back. Her ability to be vulnerable yet precise in writing is beyond admirable, making each of her memoirs beautiful in its own distinctive way.

In all honesty, I was hesitant about reading this book after hearing how saddening the premise was. However, I later found myself in awe of this memoir because of how powerfully Didion describes grief. Blue Nights is a perfect representation of grieving because her feelings shine through each passage, but also because the novel itself is her healing process. Whether she is writing symbolically or being straightforward, her hard-hitting words left me empathizing with her for every page turned. Didion and her daughter shared a very loving relationship, and she even references Quintana Roo’s love for Malibu when talking about her daughter’s childhood and marriage. Didion’s admiration for her loved ones is apparent throughout her memoir, but she allows them to live on even after their passing. The battle that Didion faces with grief is more than inspiring, and her unique writing demonstrates that. 

Blue Nights by Joan Didion is available to check out from the Mission Viejo Library. It is also available to download for free on Libby.

Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

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Disclaimer: There are two versions of Persepolis: the graphic memoir version and the literary memoir. The graphic memoir version is divided into two parts. I have only read the first graphic memoir book of Persepolis, not the actual memoir. Therefore, there’s still some of Satrapi’s writing that I haven’t been exposed to (yet). I will definitely try to find the second graphic memoir or the actual memoir soon, but for now, this review is based solely on the first graphic memoir.

Persepolis is both a graphic memoir and autobiography published in 2000. With the memoir originally written in French, Satrapi has received numerous awards for her work including the Cannes Jury Prize and the César Award for Best Writing.

The narration is written through the eyes of the main character—Marjane “Marji” Satrapi, the author herself—during her childhood at the time of the Iranian Revolution. A series of small stories are written in the memoir based on her own experiences, portraying political upheaval and how her own family was affected by the Iranian Revolution, Iraq’s oppressive regime, and the Iran-Iraq War. Marji’s accounts mainly focus on her and her family who live in Tehran, as well as how they attempt to rebel against the regime and take part in Iranian history.

As a daughter of immigrant parents but of non-Middle Eastern descent, I felt like I could connect with aspects of this memoir all while still learning more about Iran’s history. The memoir is a beautiful representation of Islamic and Iranian culture from the first-hand perspective of an Iranian citizen. The illustrations themselves are unique and drawn to perfectly fit the memoir, making Satrapi’s experiences seem more significant.

Although it’s a graphic memoir, I highly recommend Persepolis to high schoolers more than elementary or even middle schoolers. Some topics and drawings can be graphic, making the memoir a difficult read, and there are often parts that simply cannot be taken lightly. However, the book itself is unique at being able to broaden readers’ perspectives on other cultures as a memoir, historical account, and comic book all at once.

– Natisha P.

Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi is available for checkout from the Mission Viejo Library.

Flip the Script by Ed Orgeron

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Ed Orgeron, LSU’s football coach, led the team to a national championship in 2019. Unfortunately, it wasn’t easy to get there. Coach O, now in his 60s, had a troubled start to his career at different universities like Ole Miss. He had to fight through his addiction to alcohol and he had to flip the script of the way his life was going. Instead of staying at rock bottom, he decided to climb the ladder, one rung at a time, to make his way to the top. He persevered to stop his addiction to drinking and alcohol. This book is an autobiography about his life, written by Coach O and about Coach O. 

If you have an interest in football or want to become an athlete or coach one day, I suggest reading this book. Not only does it have many important lessons inside, but it also is fun to read and learn about the inside of the locker room during those games and events that you might have seen on TV. For me, it was cool and interesting to be able to learn about Coach O’s journey to becoming one of the best coaches in all of college sports. 

The book talks about Coach O’s early career in coaching and how he had many different jobs at different universities. He was a defensive line coach (DLC), assistant head coach (AHC), assistant strength coach (ASC), as well as a head coach (HC) throughout his coaching career. He is still the head coach of LSU, but he played a role in the pasts of the University of Miami, USC, University of Arkansas, Ole Miss, LSU, and other universities. He also was a part of the New Orleans Saints coaching staff at one point in his career. That is why this book is a perfect book for athletes looking to play in college and professionally. This book shows what coaches in different levels of the sport look for and care about! 

I give this book a 10/10 rating. It shows Coach O’s insights on college and high school football players as well as coaching. He explains how to coach and Coach Orgeron talks about the different ways you can connect to players. If you want to be a coach, this book can be a big help to your career and you can learn from one of the best coaches out there in Coach Ed Orgeron. You can learn how to recruit, talk to players, and how to handle the media. I recommend this book to anyone who is interested in learning from not only an experienced coach, but also a very experienced person.

-Mert A.

The Fifth Column by Ernest Hemingway

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Fifth Column eBook by Ernest Hemingway | Official Publisher Page ...

The Fifth Column is a play by American writer Ernest Hemingway, first published in 1938. The play tells the story of Philip Rawlings, an active, attentive warrior at night, though ostensibly a bystander with no connection to Spain. This play is the only one that Hemingway wrote in his whole life and has a strong autobiographical character. Rawlings, the hero, was based on Hemingway. The Fifth Column is a three-act play depicting the Republican government in Madrid besieged by Franco rebels during the Spanish Civil War. An American, Philip Rawlings, and a German, Max, sent by the Republican government security service to spy bravely on the rebels, capture an important prisoner, and then let him escape.

Many fifth column members were subsequently captured. Under severe torture, they confessed their accomplices, and three hundred others were arrested. Rawlings and his assistant Max eventually break up the rebel spy ring in Madrid’s fifth column. In time of peace, everyone’s life is equal, and no one can deprive another person of the right to live. But when the smoke of war is in the air, it is easy to form a disorderly ethical environment. Especially when the unjust party temporarily wins, they do not care about ethics at all, but enjoy the privileges brought by the victory of war and indulge their desires to do whatever they want.

The evil side of human nature is concentrated. Hemingway’s writing has a special style, that is, colloquialism. It is in these seemingly plain colloquialisms in his novels that the atmosphere of the story is profoundly delineated, as is also the case in The Fifth Column, where the story appears to be simple, but the ups and downs of the characters are clearly revealed in the spoken language. The play focuses on Philip’s love affair with Dorothy, the daughter of a middle-class American, who is vain and incompetent. In the end, Philip gave her up for his political convictions in favour of a grisly Moorish woman. From Dorothy’s characterization, it is clear that Hemingway has begun to use the rich but insatiable American female as a symbol of a hostile class in The Fifth Column.

-Coreen C.

True at First Light by Ernest Hemingway

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True at First Light eBook by Ernest Hemingway | Official Publisher ...

True at First Light: a novel written by Ernest Hemingway after a trip to Italy and his return from hunting in 1949. It reflects the author’s abhorrence of war, his concern for the future of mankind, and his reflections on the value of life, love, and death. The book’s title, taken from the dying words of Confederate General Thomas Jackson during the American Civil War, shows Hemingway’s tough-guy character — and that of himself — facing death. Although the novel is not his most famous work, it reflects the personal life of the writer incisively and vividly from one side, so that readers can have a comprehensive understanding of Hemingway.

Hemingway went on his second safari in 1953-1954 with his fourth wife, Mary Welsh. The couple, along with several locals who were working with them as their helpers, hunted a vicious lion. They also shot some gazelles, leopards, and sand hens on the way, which reflected the author’s pure and friendly sense of loyalty to the ignorant and loyal African indigenous people, Mary’s positive attitude towards learning shooting and training courage, and the happy atmosphere of their life together. Hemingway’s local girlfriend, Debba, is described in the book as “his fiancee” by Mary.

This girl was quite close to Hemingway, but she did not affect the relationship between the couple, showing a precious spirit of mutual consideration between people. An intricate counterpoint of alternating fiction and truth forms the heart of this memoir. In many passages, the author makes extensive use of this polyphonic tone, which will no doubt please any reader who enjoys this kind of music. True at First Light is a manuscript by Ernest Hemingway. The original was published in July 1999, just in time for the writer’s centenary.

What sets this book apart from many of his other novels is that it is an autobiographical novel written in the first person, so it feels intimate to read. It is a detailed and vivid account of the author’s second safari in Africa from 1953 to 1954 with his fourth wife, Mary Welsh, and reflects Hemingway’s affection for the uncomplicated natives.The book is permeated with a cheerful atmosphere, and appreciating this work is like tasting a cup of fragrant coffee which makes people have a sense of clarity and cheerfulness. In a way, this book is not so much a novel as a colorful travelogue or memoir, and many of its passages are beautiful prose pieces that add to Hemingway’s many works.

-Coreen C.

Decision Points by George W. Bush

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When finding out something new about a person, it is best to hear stories in their own words. In doing so, you can find out their own thought process for decisions they had to make and their reasoning behind what they did. I discovered this when reading Decision Points by President George W. Bush. This book dove deep into the thought process of the 43rd President of the United States and relayed his own account of the many crises that occurred during his two terms.

He organized the book into chapters relating to types of decisions he had to make versus writing the book chronologically. Some examples for chapter titles were Personnel and Campaigning decisions. It was a very good read and I suggest to everyone that they should check it out, regardless of your political tendencies or beliefs because regardless of party or platform every president has to make tough decisions to try to better the lives of American citizens so it is interesting to see President Bush’s own thoughts on the subject.

A few weeks ago I actually had the opportunity to go out to Dallas and participate in Camp 43 at the George W. Bush Presidential Library on the SMU campus.  Twenty-three students and I were given scenarios in which to make decisions under a time limit and understand the good and bad consequences of what we decided. The camp lasted three days and we heard from a variety of different speakers and participated in a variety of decision making scenarios. I had a great time and it was so fascinating to combine what I already know, what I read in Decision Points, and what I learned at camp to be able to make better decisions in my life and in my career later in life.

-Kyle H.

Decision Points by George W. Bush is available for checkout from the Mission Viejo Library. It can also be downloaded for free using Overdrive. 

Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer

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Mountaineer Jon Krakauer had a long-lasting dream, ever since he was a little boy: to climb the world-famous Mount Everest.

Into Thin Air is, as Krakauer puts it, not exactly an autobiography but merely his own account of what really happened on the peak of Everest in the terrible tragedy in 1996.

Many people died on the expedition to Everest, like renowned guides such as Rob Hall and Scott Fischer. It appalled me to see the harsh conditions in which the climbers labored through, the various health conditions they had to endure, and just how difficult the fact of breathing was at such a high altitude.

I really enjoyed reading this book; usually autobiographies are not my favorite genre, but this one blew me away. Krakauer is very meticulous in detail, and he describes everything that happened on that mountain very specifically. I really appreciated that; I felt like I was there on the mountain with him and the other climbers, and knew exactly what he was experiencing.

The way he also described the feeling of being stranded and blinded in the middle of the snow storm on top of the world was superb. I mean, I was grabbing the book and frantically flipping through the pages, wanting to see if everyone made it out okay. They didn’t, to my horror.

In fact, in this book, I learned quite a lot of things that I had never known about mountaineering before, like these spikes on a climber’s boots known as crampons to help grip the ice, or how the climbers had to do acclimatization exercises before actually attempting to ascend the mountain.

Throughout the book, many brave climbers prevailed, and the cost of sacrifice and loss was sorrowful. Even though I had not known these people previously, I felt bad for their untimely fate. But many were brave and loyal enough to go back and and try to save their fellow climbers, and many that are alive today from the incident of 1996 thank those courageous climbers.

I’d highly recommend this book to everyone; this is one of my favorite reads! From action-packed to intense scenes, horrifying terrors to unthinkable grief, and courage and loyalty of many climbers on Everest in 1996, this book is truly excellent.

-Katharine L.

Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer is available for checkout from the Mission Viejo Library.

Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah

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Upon reading Mah’s Chinese Cinderella and its sequel, I recently was made aware of a precursor and her official autobiography.  Entitled Falling Leaves, the book follows the same plot line as her other two works.  However, what made it different was the voice Mah used as the story of her life progressed.

Little Adeline, originally Mǎ Yán Jūnlíng, was born into a high-class family in Tianjin, China.  Her mother, the light of her father’s life, died shortly after giving birth to Adeline.  This did not raise the youngest child’s status in the family.  From a young age, Adeline received nothing but resentment and mistreatment from her family, with the exception of her kind Aunt Baba.  Under the direction of the late mistress of the Yen household, Aunt Baba became Adeline’s surrogate mother.  But, Adeline was persistent to win her father’s attention, through and through, even to his deathbed.  She consistently was awarded medals and perfect report cards.  On few occasions, her father would notice, but with the addition of a new stepmother, Niang, Mr. Yen sent Adeline to boarding school.  Where, throughout the years she spent there, nobody paid her a single visit.

As Mah takes the reader throughout her painful life, she not only follows her own story, but retells her family’s (if they could ever be called that), so when the story concludes, all the pieces come together.  And, in Adeline’s case, quite heartbreakingly.

What Mah has written truly shows the willpower of human sufferance.  War-torn countries and refugees have stories worth sharing, inspiring the fortunate people of the free world.  However, within what may seem to be a noble Chinese household, the step-children, in particular the youngest girl, find a similar fates.  Though found the library’s adult section as it contains more mature content, I fully recommend Mah’s autobiography.

-Maya S.

The works of Adeline Yen Mah are available for checkout from the Mission Viejo Library.