I don’t usually read nonfiction. I’m more of a fantasy, love-story, novel, kind of person. But starting this year, my first assignment was to read a memoir. Any memoir of our choosing, so long it was about overcoming adversity. At first, I struggled to find a memoir that really interested me, but somewhere in the back of my mind, this one came to mind. I must have seen or heard about this memoir somewhere because once I found it, I immediately purchased it. 

Crying in H-Mart by Michelle Zauner is a memoir in which Zauner must deal with the grief of losing her mother from cancer and learn to come to terms with her own identity. Zauner recalls her memories of when she was younger, how she had once looked up to and thought so highly of her mother to when she grew and began to resent her instead. Zauner lists disagreements she had with her mother and her own personal battles she faced throughout high school. However, it is only when she is through college and away from her family does she get the call that her mother has cancer. As she watches her mother fade, Zauner worries that losing her could also cause her to lose much more. 

This memoir really made me think about my own life. I had never really once thought about what would happen when my parents are gone. It’s not a fun topic to think about and definitely harder to talk about. But hearing Zauner’s personal story, it seemed to connect to my life in a way. I am a musician myself and of Asian descent. However, what I really connected to were the family dynamics. Specifically the connection Zauner had with her mom. I’ve had my fair share of disagreements with my mom, many talks and exchanged opinions. But I’m always–still am–looking for her approval, her advice, and her support. My mom is the one I go to and have true heart-to-heart conversations and without her, I might lose myself–just as Zauner nearly did. In losing her mother, Zauner had a hard time finding her identity–in both her culture and path. Without the advice and ties to her mother, Zauner felt lost in what to do until she could find her again through other means. I’m scared to lose my mom; whenever I need to go to someone, the first person that comes to mind is usually my mom. So without her, I may feel just as lost, but perhaps with this perspective, I can find ways to accept the loss and carry on when it inevitably arrives.

I also connected to the familial ties. I usually see my dad’s side of the family since they live here in the United States. My mom’s side lives in the Philippines–like Zauner’s mom’s side lives in Korea. I don’t see them much and when I do, it’s way harder for me to warm up to them. But in reading Zauner’s experience, it is important to connect to those you can to help cope and grieve. And that while I may not see my mom’s side of the family much, they will come to my aid just as I would for them. 

Crying in H-Mart opened up my perspective, showed what my future could look like, and helped me raise my appreciation for my family, friends and the ones I care about. While we take each other for granted at times, this memoir has helped me remember that nothing is forever and they will leave someday. The only thing we can do is spend time with them, love them, and keep them in our hearts and memories. Crying in H-Mart is a fantastic true story on Michelle Zauner’s struggles and overcoming them. It is one that I found myself relating to and one I will highly recommend to everyone.

-Nicole R.

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner is available to checkout from the Mission Viejo Library. It is also available to download for free from Libby.