Recently, I reread Douglas Adams’s The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and since Ford Prefect is clearly the most awesome character in the book, I decided to write a short career resumè for him, in case he ever gets tired of hitchhiking.
Ford Prefect (a.k.a. Praxibetel Ix)
Current Address: 000 UFO Avenue, Cottington, West Country, England
Permanent Address: House of Ix, Betelgeuse 5, The Universe
Phone Number: (123) 456 – 7890
To create custom, expensive towels for the people of Earth, and to teach them the importance of always carrying a towel with them in case of planetary explosions.
B.A. Towel Weaving and Care (1834)
Minors: Journalism, Star-Tracking, Acting 101, Creepy Smiling 102, History of Towels, Cooking for Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts of Traal
Vniuersitatis-13 University, Betelgeuse 5, Betelgeuse Sector, The Universe
Researcher/Resident Hitchhiker for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to to the Galaxy (1857 – 1964)
- Explored and documented the galaxy to provide succor to all competent hitchhikers wishing to explore the enigma that is the galaxy for less than thirty Altairian dollars per day.
- Attempted to discover the legendary supercomputer Deep Thought (located on the sublime planet of Magrathea) in order to find the question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Survivalist (1964 – 1979)
- Travelled to Earth for one week, but ended up being stranded on one of the most hostile yet picturesque planets in the Plural sectors for nearly fifteen years.
- Chose the excellent, obscure name of Ford Prefect to use during time on said planet, and befriended a common specimen of the Homo Sapiens, Arthur Dent.
* Drinking the ineffably fantastic beverage, Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, with semi-half cousin, who is the exceedingly august president of the galaxy, Zaphod Beeblebrox.
* Honing already-impeccable gastronomical skills to improve his hitchhiking meals
* Driving first and only car, a blue Ford Prefect.
* Searching the stars for spacecraft to hitchhike.
* Playing the violently-originated game of
* Ix Award, which translates to “boy who is not able to satisfactorily explain what a Hrung is, nor why it should choose to collapse on Betelgeuse Seven” Award (1832)
* Tricky Traveller Award, for using a towel to create a mini raft to float down the torrents of water of the Wikiwiki River (1967)
* Hitchhikers’ Honorable Mention, for being the only hitchhiker to ever remember where his towel was while on the planet Oblivioni Tradita (1972)
AVAILABILITY: January 1979
Willing to relocate to anywhere in England, but should be allowed to suddenly call in sick on Thursday, October 11.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams is available to all hoopy froods at the Mission Viejo Library.